Pastor Norma's Journal of Wisdom

Dating and Courtship

Enjoy this time of discovery…

These times are the “best of times” and “the worst of times”. Time tells all. It is through the dating and courting time that we realize there’s a difference between infatuation and love. The test of “true love” is found in 1 Corinthians 13. If “love” is only stars and fireworks it will not endure the test of time.

You will discover the intricate “being” of the person you date. What really “makes them tick”. The blending of two people together so that they finally end up at an alter takes time, work, laughter, tears, patience, and prayer.

Building the trust that is necessary in all relationships, especially in courting and dating, is brought about by the ups as well as the downs. You don’t get to really know a person in a day, or a month, or a year. It takes a lifetime.

Grandpa and I have been married for almost 50 years and knew each other for 2 years before we were married, and I am still discovering things about him I did not know. Aging brings out character traits that lie dormant for years.

Each season of our lives brings issues to face that we’ve never dealt with before (finances, health, work, and the very aging process of our bodies).

Growing together and maturing and aging together are wonderful opportunities to continue to discover each other and thus enhance your relationship even further.

No time of life is so beautiful as the early days of love, when with every meeting, every glance, one fetches something new to rejoice over.

— Soren Kierkegard

Enrich your life with love…

Love is one of our basic needs. (To be needed and to belong are two other basic needs.)

There are basically 3 kinds of love… brotherly love, sensual love, and true love, which is God’s kind of love. True love is found in 1 Corinthians 13.

We use the word “love” so flippantly… “I love chocolate, etc.”

I’ve seen people fall in and out of love like dominoes. Sensual love and infatuation will not hold up under the pressures of life.

Life is what happens to us while we make other plans. Life is “reality”. It’s where the rubber hits the road. It’s the nitty-gritty of the daily grind. We need people who truly love us to walk through “living” with us. We will always have companions with us on the road of life. The best or dearest companion you will have is the one you choose to be your mate… your husband or wife.

Choose carefully and thoughtfully. The road is long, hard, and very bumpy. Love is the lubricant that keeps you going.

Don’t seek love in the wrong places.

There are many feelings that accompany love. Feelings come and go depending on so many things.

True love is a choice. When you meet that “someone” you know you want to spend the rest of your life with, the one you want to be with through “thick and thin”, then there will be those times where feelings cannot determine the status of your relationship. It becomes a choice that that relationship is worth fighting for and working through the differences and remembering the wonderful attributes that caused you to “love” in the first place.

To live without loving is not really to live.

— Moliere

Be sure your love is more than skin deep…

I have basically shared this in the previous writing. We are very “outward appearance” oriented. When I first met Grandpa I was not attracted to him at all. He was not my “dream man”, who was very tall, blonde and blue-eyed. We went to the same church and were in Youth Group together… (I was 16 and he was 18). We hung out with a lot of young people and I was looking and waiting for “Mr. Right”. Over time (about a year and a half), one guy began to stick out… and that was Grandpa. Even though he didn’t fit my criteria on the outside, I began to see the wonderful person he really was. The attributes I saw made me want to be with him. His character was what I wanted in my mate. He was kind, tender, and very humble. He was honest and sincere. The one thing I admired most was his love of the Lord and his desire to walk with Him and serve Him. That was my top priority in my choice of a mate because I knew that through the tests of time that would be the “bed-rock” that would stand when all else failed… and after almost 50 years of marriage we have both found this to be true.

Our love for each other and the Lord is the “super-glue” that has held us together when everything else seemed to be falling apart.

Choose your mate for his (her) character and you won’t go wrong.

Love at first sight is easy to understand. It’s when two people have been looking at each other for years that it becomes a miracle.

— Sam Levenson

The value of true love…

Is that there is that special someone who is always “there” for you.

True love bonds you together so you can face an obstacle and know you can hurdle it together.

True love weathers the storms of life and those storms draw you closer together rather than divide and separate you.

True love is the incentive to keep you working hard together, as well as playing hard together.

True love is that which lifts you above the circumstances when the tendency would be to get under them.

True love keeps you buoyant and afloat when you have that “sinking feeling”. It is the light that dispels the darkness of difficult, hard times.

True love causes us to soar above the clouds of everyday life and overcome any obstacle in our path.

Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young.

— A. W. Pinero


Friendships   |   Marriage